Dear Senator Enzi,

I am a law student here in Laramie and I am writing to ask you to vote “no” on the confirmation of Eric Holder for Attorney General. Pardon me if your position is the same as Senator Barrasso’s, in which case this email is moot.

Eric Holder’s reputation as a categorical enemy of the Second Amendment indicates that he is morally disqualified to be the Attorney General of the United States. He has attempted, serving as a public official, to attenuate and create obstacles to the American’s right to own firearms, which is representative of the right to defend oneself and one’s family and is the continuing bulwark of our liberty against the elements of tyranny.

His views on firearms and the possession of them do not comport with those of our society, and certainly do not comport with the views of the average Wyomingite. Meanwhile, many [of] his actions as Deputy Attorney General were ethically dubious; the United States needs an Attorney General above ethical reproach.

Please vote “No” on Holder’s confirmation.

Sincerely,
O.Shane Balloun

Dedicated to Becky Akers

I traveled from Denver to San Jose yesterday evening. Of course, that meant going through the gauntlet of inanity controlled by the TSA. Today I saw a TSAgent who still had “a light” in his eyes. He must have been new, because his joy and creativity were not squelched out of him; he was still smiling. Contrast him to the dude behind the metal detector who was using his “authoritah” voice to admonish us to remember the commandments for efficient travel and correct security checkpoint protocol.

Anyway, the TSAgent-who-could-yet-be-saved was checking IDs; I knew there was still hope for him, because he was doing it as mindlessly and quickly as possible. That is, he didn’t seem to take the exercise too seriously and was keeping himself moving quickly for fear of utter boredom. He looked at each ID, compared it to the boarding pass and quickly stamped the document.

When I went up to him, I noticed that the ultraviolet light used to determine whether my state’s driver’s license is actually a real license per the sanction of the federal government (i.e., whether the dokumenten were authentic vis-a-vis the Transportsicherheitverwaltung uber-diktaten) was shining on his arm. He was letting the black-light cast the narrow beam onto his forearm while he mindlessly passed everyone through the checkpoint. After he stamped my boarding pass, I said, “Aren’t you worried about getting skin cancer?”

I expected a confused look for breaking the unspoken rule that passengers should not say anything oblique or meaningful, but he knew exactly what I was referring to. He laughed agreeably, and shoved the light (swiveling on its joint) away from him and continued to stamp people through. I realized there was hope for him when he began to do the opposite of what his direktors probably wanted him to do: not use the light to authenticate every goddam license.

Hopefully he quits when he realizes he’s better than the TSA. Or it will be a sad day when his soul dies.